back to work

I am a teacher and youth worker by employ. I love my job and yet it I still feel the dread of going to work this morning. The reason for this is simply under preparedness. I enter holiday breaks with joy as I know I will have time to get on top of things for next term, yet somehow manage to allow my valuable time get sucked away. There are several reasons for this. Firstly I allow believe i have earned a break and try to spend several days looking after ‘me’. This thought continues for most times of the holidays and eventually becomes a way of filling up my holidays with ‘me’ activities. Secondly because i am on holidays there are any number of people and events that place added demand on my time that I am either obligated or feel obligated to go to. This then makes me feel like I am not getting my holidays so I up the attempts for ‘me’ time. Finally, I am scared of doing the work. It is true, I am scarred of having to wrap my head around the coming term and thinking through, problem solving and writing work ahead of time. Yet it is when I am well organised that I feel capable of working to my best and enjoy it. Regardless my holidays are over and I am here writing this blog instead of doing any work. I now have to get busy, but will come back at the end of the day to describe what I intend to do about making things work better.